One of the first job interviews I had was with a book publisher. This was many years ago and I no longer recall the company or the position, other to say that I wasn't remotely qualified, but I do remember the meeting well. I wore a tan Ally McBeal-ish suit, tottering heels and some sort of leather briefcase that was quite likely empty but for my metropass, gum and a creatively padded resume. But despite the great outfit and my desperate enthusiasm, the meeting did not go well. The interviewer's puzzling line of questions became more and more abstract, and ended with the stumper: "You're driving on the 401. Which lane are you in - left, right or middle." Well and truly flummoxed, I eventually replied "I don't have a snowball's chance at this job, do I?" That was the only honest exchange during those 20 awkward minutes. Probably because I still don't know how to answer it, the question has stayed with me over the years.
I don't think I've ever been a left lane kind of person. I don't know if I'm ambitious or if I just have things , a wooly list of things, that I'd like to do. I'm not very good at separating work and family and personal dreams. Like the rest of the world I just want to be happy. So I let that guide my decisions. Not returning to my former job this year was pretty easy. I did go back to work full time at the end of my maternity leave with Stella and, though I was happy once I was actually at work, I spent a lot of time feeling rushed and overwhelmed getting there and back home again. I realized with two kids the pressure would be amplified and I just didn't think going through life like that would be good for me or anyone else.
There's an interesting article in this week's Maclean's that says disparity in the workplace is no longer a male/female issue, it's between those who have kids and those who don't. According to the author, Lianne George, kids are the new glass ceiling. I'm inclined to agree. Meetings booked at 4:30 p.m., a daycare that charges $5 a minute beyond the 6:00 pick-up time and always, always the feeling that I'm not doing home or work particularly well made it pretty clear that I should find a way to make a living on my own terms.
So life is a bit slower these days, a bit of a drive in the right lane. There's more time to appreciate the simple beauty in life and I'm grateful for that. I've always been a fan of the slow food, and slow travel movements, both of which are in keeping with my newly found slow life. Happy long weekend everyone.
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